Every time I see Elizabeth i’s signature I get absurdly happy cause I just imagine her signing her name and doing a little twirly and then pausing and then adding a few more twirlies
“your majesty perhaps thats enough twirls” suggests William Cecil
“perhaps Im the motherfuckin queen” suggests elizabeth and adds 6 more
Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.
Snails Kiss On Cherries [photo by Vyacheslav Mishchenk]
THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANT MY LIFE TO BE
what if childbirth is just the pain of the 9 periods you missed
and all this time i thought it was the baby ripping through your vagina
straight dudes 100 percent of their lives
I didn’t think people like this actually existed
Here we see the Greater Douchebag in one of their natural habitats. Like many poisonous animals, the bright colors are a warning to stay away.
the no homo sapiens
I was just going to like and then that last comment
RED, THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN
TEA, A DRINK WITH JAM AND BREAD
heLP I DON’T KNOW WHICH TUNE TO SING IT IN
SO LONG, FAREWELL, AUF WEIDERSENG GOOD BYE.
LOOK DOWN, LOOK DOWN, YOU’RE HERE UNTIL YOU DIE.
if the purge was happening in real life you would see murders and rape and then you’d see me like
We assume these are hockey players.
HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE
"Teamwork makes the dream work"
why were dinosaurs so big
because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures